no, he came in my armpit
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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