I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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