i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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