Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
