Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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