I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
