is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
