On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
