So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
