I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
