airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
