You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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