So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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