That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
