I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
