You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
