D3 body, D1 cock
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
