so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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