I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
