so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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