i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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