that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
