I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
