she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
