i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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