I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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