Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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