is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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