I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize