too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize