My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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