Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
