this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
