I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We got so high we made milksteak
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
