Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
