They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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