If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
