So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
why is half of my head shaved?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
