the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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