Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
