So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
