My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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