look no pants
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
