The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You ruined the universe
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
