I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
