Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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