I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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