I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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