I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
