i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize