i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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