You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
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It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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