my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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