Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
