I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
