he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
