I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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