This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
