some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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