Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
