The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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