she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i think i just lost a toe
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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