how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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